am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
