Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's always time for handjobs
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
