Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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