summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
