Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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