Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
