Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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