I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
