We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
