you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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