They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
