fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
