I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
