one might say we're banned from that church
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
