Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
