note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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