I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
