No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
