the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
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I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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