i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
