Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize