I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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