hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
