We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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