Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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