I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
too bad you live with your parents still
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
