the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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