My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
