I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize