dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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