im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
