Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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