I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
