"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
