her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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