God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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