the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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