member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
