Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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