you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
