watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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