My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize