since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
