He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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