Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
