If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
