We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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