S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
