Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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