there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
