I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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