I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
