Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
