My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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