Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize