Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
