If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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