I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
