Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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