now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
