I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
