so explain again why im purple
no
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
