I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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