loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
