sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
