I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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