I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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